Untitled;

What you did was wrong. What I did was wrong. Maybe I shouldn't have been so honest.. but then again you were plenty honest with me.. The things you said were so menacing, and hurtful. I know I will never be the child that you wanted. I know I'll never meet your standards. But Im not a perfect person, and you've said that no one is perfect. I want to question that.. If no one is perfect why am I still not good enough. To be good enough for you , do I have to be a low-life, with no path in life? like you. Do I have to be a moucher, and live off of other people for the rest of my life, so that way I'll be an equal? Because I dont know if you know this or not, but I am my own person. I have dreams, but after all of your discouragement I dont think I can possibly can go ahead with my dreams. Its like you're in my head , at all times, and when I come close to do believing in myself, or doing something right, its in that moment when I can hear you in the back of my head telling me "you arent good enough, you wont get far, and that I cant do anything right." I lay awake at night because it eats me inside. I want your demons to leave me alone. I cannot take the brutality anymore. I hate that Im so damaged and have low self esteem, but Im letting it control me, Im letting it run my life, and I dont know how to stop it. I want this to end.. You never should've started this if you knew all along that your plan was to drop me the whole time. If I had've known you were going to drop me out of your life I never would've tried to get through to you, I never would've tried to solve our problems.